Olfactory Offenses

There are a lot of smelly people out there. I should know because I use public transportation. Every day I get the chance to cozy up to strangers with varying standards of hygeine and share in the smorgasboard of odors spread generously through the air. In the morning most of the smells are subtley expressed and hardly noticable to the untrained nostril. However, by late afternoon on a muggy summer day even the calloused schnoz best beware lest it suffer the stench of the abundunt olfactory offenses all around. The daily MARTA rider slowly becomes numb over time and soon hardly notices the acrid aromas. But the stranger, novice, or sporadic passenger need take caution. I might suggest the following tactics for such individuals:
-Carry a can of Oust, Lysol, or even your favorite perfume/cologne and spray it abountantly around your seating/standing area
-Breathe only through your mouth
-Coat your nostrils and throat with neon-green wassabe paste just prior to boarding a train or bus
-Acquire and don a protective helmet equipped with breathing apparatus such as is used in chemical warfare
-Completely surround yourself in a plastic bubble that only allows in oxygen that has been thoroughly decontaminated prior to intake

Personally I have become used to the variety of smells and have even acquired a taste for the various "flavors" I encounter. There is the "sweatin' to the oldies" aroma, the "sleep in dumpster" special, and "eat rotten vegetables at every meal" angle. I have learned to tolerate them all. Nothing bothers me anymore, in fact the only real surprise is the occasional alluring scent of a perfumed woman wafting by. Now that is almost too much to handle. It makes me wish I had a plastic bubble after all.